| TIPS FOR PARENTS
Michael Brock’s advice for Raising Children for success and happiness
in School.
Have you ever found yourself using expressions with your children that
your parents used on you? Here are some alternatives expressions
that will enable children to focus on the problems at hand.
A. Instead of “Because I said so.” try “Because
it’s the right thing to do,”
B. Instead of “No one ever said life is fair “try “I
can understand how you might feel that way. I share your wish that
life would be fair. Now, how can we make the best of this situation?”
C. Instead of “What part of ‘No” don’t you understand?”
try “The reason I am saying ‘no’ is because this matter is
very important to me. When you are ready to discuss this respectfully, I
will do my best to explain it to you.”
D. Instead of “If everyone jumped off the cliff, would you do
likewise?” try “I can understand your wanting to go, especially if
some of your friends are going. But as we discussed yesterday, we do not
go to those movies because we believe they communicate values that we find
very disrespectful.”
E. Instead of “When I was your age....”try “I can remember when I
was young, we used to....”
When students were asked to list phrases that were not helpful to them
the above five expressions came up repeatedly. Students most often
wanted their parents to talk to them and about them the same way we speak
to and about adults. One challenge to parents is to avoid sarcasm and
teach the self-discipline skill of resolving problems.
(Brock: pp 212-214 Vantage Press)
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